A day (or two or three) in the life of...

So, I'm not really enjoying breast feeding. I know it's supposed to be an amazing bonding experience with your lil one and it gives them all the antibodies and nutrients they need so that is what I cling to in order to not give up but, yeah, I'm just not liking it much at all. The only thing I like about it is that I do get my lil Izzy close to me and she looks up at me here and there and she's just so endearing. Aside from that, it hurts. My boobs just don't feel like my own anymore. They feel like these painful lumps on my body that are called upon for the all you can eat buffet every few hours, then tucked away to sit in their aching sensation until the next feeding. I don't want Cowboy to look at them, let alone touch them and I feel an odd resentment towards them (not to mention my body in general) right now. I miss daily showers. I miss selfish me time to blog, read, shop, etc... w/out having to worry about time constraints. I miss eating when I want t...

I know I'm sucking at blogging. Bear with me, lil Izzy is all consuming. She goes through days where she needs 24/7 holding and others where she lets me put her down on a blanket and play with her there. I'm trying to stimulate her in ways other than just in my arms all the time. Cowboy still is the champ at the real play time though and she loves it. Little by little, her neck is getting stronger, she's having more quiet observation time as well as more range in the lil sounds she's making. I have conversations with her in both Spanish and English. A lot of Spanglish actually. I'll have to put the Spanish channel on more so that she hears it in the background as well. I asked Mas to bring back some children's books in Spanish on her next trip to Bolivia next month. That way, we can read some bedtime stories to her in Spanish as well. Hopefully she can actually pick up on Spanish as time goes by. We're now, heartbreakingly (for me), looking at daycare fo...

We've hit the 5 week mark today.I feel like we're getting somewhere and consistently so. By 'somewhere', I guess I mean, we're starting to get it .  Caring for a newborn is nothing that you can neatly regulate and it suddenly be predictable.  There have been highs and lows and moments when just when we think we've got it down, the table is turned due to a mood or a growth spurt. So basically, I think we've become more laid back about this whole parenting gig and reminding ourselves to let Izzy do the driving and we just make sure stay on the right track. I feel like I'm throwing in too many metaphors and vague blanket statements but I really have no clear cut words for this adventure we're on. I just know that after a few consistently great days, we're feeling good. The Violent Femme's 'Good Feeling' song just came to mind. Seems appropriate. Friday night was my first 'Girl's Night Out'. It was awesome and my chickies we...

Time is flying, folks. Since the last time I posted, Izzy's been busy growing up, being cute and crying. I had my 36th birthday, caught up with all of the fam and slept a total of maybe 6.8 hours. Ok, maybe I've slept more but not by much. Izzy's been on a roll w/eating every 3 hours or even before. She's been consistently letting me know that she's hungry right before my lil iPod alarm will tell me to get around to feeding and we've had the diaper changes to show for it. I'd post pics of the diapers but I've decided to spare you. Here's a few pics from my b'day w/the fam: For kicks, here's a short clip of the many sleepy faces of lil Izzy. When she's in her early stages of falling asleep, she goes through a whole slew of sleep faces including a variety of smiles, eye rolls, frowns and other miscellaneous expressions. The eye rolls freak Cowboy out in an excoricist kind of way but it cracks me up. Ok, too tired right now to po...

Today's a much much much better day than yesterday. Thank.God.Izzy's.Fine... phew.  She slept great last night (though, again, every 3 hours, on the dot, she demanded the goods) and let me sleep in (after the 5:30 feeding) until 9:10! Golden.  Speaking of Golden, check out her kick ass birth mark behind her left knee. She has the mark of the Golden Child. She's clearly destined for great things. Cowboy pushed me to get out of the house yesterday and initially, I was going to have me a good happy hour w/Harms but between my raging headache, worn down emotions (from crying with her... damn, I really need to toughen up here, huh?) and tired body, I had to bow out. Cowboy demanded an outing of me so I made a last minute appt. to get a hair cut, peeled off my pajamas, ran a brush through my hair and was out da' door. In the end, I was thankful that I got out and so were my tresses.  I've got to leave them again tomorrow for about 3 hours so we'll see how that goes...

Our baby Izzy is 3 weeks old today and she's in a fussy 'it's my 3 week b'day and I can cry if I want to' kinda mood. Doing anything but being attached to mah bebe has proved futile today. On the bright side, she slept great last night (3 hour stretch, feed, 3 hour stretch, feed, then 4 hour stretch... and feed). At her middle of the night feedings, I usually am up for about 45 min to an hour (depending on how long it takes to get her to sleep again). I'd say that we're making progress w/the breastfeeding, though the nips are still scared of her so sometimes they like to shrink away in fear and I have to shake it off and just go with it. Having the new iTouch helps w/the middle of the night feedings because, as much as I love to just stare into her lil face, there's only so much of that I can do when it's half smushed into my boob and I'm not vain enough to just love staring down at my boobs for 30 minute stretches... We use Baby Connect to track...

I read this excerpt from Tina Fey's memoir Bossypants , a couple of months ago and loved it. Though at the time I read it, I assumed it wouldn't quite apply to Joonbug since I was becoming convinced that she was actually a he. Sharing for your reading pleasure: “ First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches. May she be Beautiful but not Damaged , for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty. When the Crystal Meth is offered, may she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer. Guide her, protect her when crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, r...

Ok, I'm clearly WAY behind on blogging. I've been a bit preoccupied with feeding, changing and staring at lil Izzy. Our lil Isabella Anne was born at 4:26 AM on Tuesday morning, May 17th. Right on her due date (thanks to induction taking it's sweet time) as perfect as she could have possibly been. Labor was INTENSE, to say the least. Induction started Sunday night at about 9pm with Cervadil, then things were sped up Monday morning at about 7:30 using Pitocin to induce contractions. Contractions are NO JOKE, folks. I labored all day with back labor. Cowboy was my everything that day. He was my trusty and capable doula, who helped me work through the contractions via breathing exercises, bouncing and rocking on the big birthing ball (basically just an exercise ball) and at one point, picked me up to slow dance through some contractions. As crazy as that sounds, it worked and I found myself crying out of emotion against his chest and not in pain. It was intense but while he...