A day (or two or three) in the life of...

*forewarning: I cuss in this post. It made me feel better and when I share my blog with Joonbug in the future, I will censor out this one from what I share until he is adult enough to understand. ((curtsey)) I haven't been sleeping well. It's life, it's pregnancy. I get that. BUT, that, in turn, makes me a bit more sensitive, cranky and less patient with every day life events like....emptyfuckingcoffeepots.  Usually, I'm a peace lover. I fight crimes against humanity with compassion, hugs, puppies and unicorns. Kill 'em with kindness and if that doesn't work, cut a bitch... I will get tee-shirts made with this slogan. I get one cup of coffee a day. That one cup, is wonderful. I savor it, hold it close to my face so that I take in all the coffee bean essence and drink it slowly. Sip, by glorious sip. I want to do like Skeeter does w/her favorite toys and roll on the ground with it and kick my legs around until I'm panting. I love it. Get the point, si? So...

*drinking game for any who care to imbibe during this post. Drink every time you come across the number 33 (including the title and this lil note) Ok, so we've hit 33 weeks today. That means we're at about a month and a half out now from the moment we get to meet Joonbug! Holla! Here's what 33 weeks looks like for me: And here's what 33 weeks looks like if I suck in my stomach. See, because my stomach is right below my the elastic of my sports bra at this point. I was trying to put on my sexy model face. Cowboy says it was neither model-like, nor sexy and he just shook his head. I tried... Pregnancy Highlights: How Far Along:  33 Weeks  Size of Baby:  5 pounds at last Thursday's ultrasound and should be about 17.5 inches long but he's longer and I can't for the life of me remember what the measurement was at the ultrasound. ((shrugs)) Just know that he's large and in charge. Total Weight Gain/Loss: 28 lbs. Meh, I'm ok w/that. I just have...

I'm crossing into the 'uncomfortable big' zone w/the belly. I've grown out of 2 maternity shirts that I loved. Granted they were size small and fitted to begin with but they no longer cover my whole belly. I hit a wall on Sunday in regards to just feeling tired and cranky, not to mention a level of panic setting in that I'm not fully prepared yet. I need to do the following: wash and fold all the baby clothes, bedding, towels, etc... stock up on all of the goods needed for diaper changes (butt powder, diaper bag travel sizes of stuff, baby oil), baby tylenol, gas drops, replacement parts kit for the breast pump I'm borrowing and other goodies to be really prepared (at least in my mind) pack hospital bag register at hospital clean this house... I've been ridiculously lazy and the home front is paying the price. This all hit me in the last couple of days. This panic of not being prepared. I want to go back to my happy place of pregnancy bliss again. Mak...

After Saturday's Baby Shower, we brought all the gifts back to the house and let Cowboy sort through them all to see all the goods that were bestowed upon our lil Joonbug. He loved the monkey hat (Buggie, looks like the whole family will be wearing this hat) and was genuinely excited about all of the goods. He couldn't believe all the stuff we got. After sifting through all the goods, it was Birf'day cake time! Clearly, he's a lil excited about this next year in his life [read: the chocolate raspberry cake in front of him]. Family pic! They grunted and groaned when I called for a family pic and you can see that sweet MIL was trying to hid altogether. :) Cut to last night: Cowboy and 'Lise'y decided that last night was the end of extra sugars and skipping out on workouts. That being said, he was on a mission to rid the house of this sugary cake. Any other person may throw said cake away. No, he decided he needed to provide some entertainment by playing t...

Pregnancy's been all dandy and lovely on me body... up until Sunday. It's like it was kind enough to wait right up until the wonderful baby shower and then BLAMMO, it feels like someone took a hot poker to my lower back. Cowboy was so kindly helping me stretch it out in hopes of improving the pressure against the sciatic nerve and suddenly I'm screaming and crying. I haven't been in pain like that since... um, maybe since the last time I'd broken a bone. I'd certainly not cried from pain like that in over 25 years or so. I only cry when my soul is wounded (which can easily be done by a stern/scowly look from a loved one or a sappy movie). Well, apparently the physical pain wounded my soul. I went for a prenatal massage last night in hopes of helping this sciatica bid'ness but that only made it worse. I had to call Cowboy into massage office to help me up and out of there. Bah! Maybe I should have registered for a wheel chair for baby shower. Who knew? Spea...

So, the swanky dinner set for last night was a cover for appealing to my emotional side (which is back, front, side to side, top and bottom). We get to fancy dinner joint and start walking towards table and I see Elise (SIL) sitting at a booth waving at us w/a big grin on her face and someone sitting next to her ducking down and another person across from her hiding behind menu. I blank out and wonder what's going on and MIL pops up to surprise me, full of giggles and a huge smile. ((SQUEE!!!)) Cut to me weeping as I hug her and say "Whaaaaa? Wha? What are you doing here???".  I LOVE surprises and even more, I LOVE my sweet MIL! [pictured here w/her lil Cowboy during Mom/Son dance at our wedding]  I read and hear so many accounts of women being so annoyed/threatened/put off by their MIL and that makes me appreciate our relationship even more so.  We are truly kindred spirits and I'm not just saying that just because I know she'll see this.  Anyone who's met he...

I'm so embarrassed. There's no real excuse for it and all I can do is wonder if I'm going to recoup to my normal'ness or if I'm just going to remain dumb and broken with this drinking problem. I mean, I don't know that I'd really want to be seen around me in this state. Today's probably the 3rd time this happened. I'm sitting at my desk, testing through some of our applications and I go to take a sip of water out of my large pint glass and I miss my mouth altogether. I just come in about a half an inch short of my mouth, tip the glass and pour water all down the front of me. My shirt's soaked, my pants are soaked and water is puddling around my laptop. I look up w/a dumb look on my face (still holding half empty glass... you'd think I'd have stopped tipping after an ounce or two, right? Right? ) at my coworker (who's torn between laughing and pretending he didn't see it) and back down at myself. What the what? I've done this...

I had such a 'stoopid' day today. I was literally just plain dumb. The things that came out of my mouth, my lack of being able to express myself, slow reaction time.  You name it. I couldn't even control it so I just stopped talking for a couple of hours to try to reset my brain.  ((shaking head)) It's like Joonbug tag teamed w/Lexi and took over duties of seeping my brain away from me ( she used to suck my brain out of me head w/a straw at night. I never caught her but I know it was happening ). I won't detail out the lack of brain powered things that came out of my mouth today but suffice it to say I literally wanted to jump out of my skin and just pat my head and tell myself 'aw, you're a nice girl. you are.'  Here's what my 31 weeks looks like.  Forewarning: I went to the gym tonight and sweat my hiney off and was feeling rather fug. Cowboy kept bringing the funny to get a genuine smile out of me. We went to our first pediatrician interview ...

31 weeks. Woot! Joonbug now weighs 27 lbs! Well, no wonder! I take comfort in the fact (yes, it's a proven fact!) that I have an almost 30 lb baby. I mean, nevermind that he'll shrink down to about 8lbs or so when he's actually born because he's going to shed about 25+ lbs of water weight when all's said and done, at delivery time. Me? I'll spring back into pre-Joonbug shape magically, as my uterus contracts w/in 7.5 minutes (or months...) after delivery. Poof! I'll suddenly be laying on the hospital bed in a bikini, sporting an insta-tan and be this super fit new Mom. How awesome is that? How your baby's growing: This week, your baby measures over 17 inches long. He weighs about 3.3 pounds (They lie! I know the truth...) and is heading into a growth spurt. He can turn his head from side to side, and his arms, legs, and body are beginning to plump out as needed fat accumulates underneath his skin. He's probably moving a lot, too, so you may ha...

So, it was tough for Cowboy and I to finally get this baby making show on the road but not nearly as tough as it is for so many couples out there. I used to be on a few different infertility forums that had a bunch of chickies on there all commiserating about their struggle w/infertility. They'd share about their ovulation charting , naturopath methods of improving their fertility, IUI or IVF cycles, etc... I remember feeling so depressed and just lumped in with all of these women who were struggling with infertility and I had that doomed feeling that we were on this very long uphill struggle to ever have our own lil one.  I go back to those boards every now and then and just lurk to see how everyone's doing. I don't leave comments anymore because I don't want to rub it in that it finally worked for us while they're all still going through this struggle. I remember how it felt so very 'the world against us' and it made me bitter at times that all these teena...

Jems asked that I please take pictures of myself wearing a particular item that's on Joonbug's registry and send to him, if I end up getting it. Oh, ha, ha, very funny... I'm hoping to be lactating like a Lucerne bottling facility and this bad boy will help me do other fun things while I 'pump', like... watch my novelas, play with baby, talk on the phone (as this kind lady is doing so happily) and mow the yard. Try me! Medela Easy Expression Bustier - Hands-free pumping made easy! Not only easy, but clearly fun! Look how happy she is! I will also be that happy as my hoo has are used and abused and taking care of some business. Maybe I'll even dance. ((shrugs)) AND, look at her abs. That obviously is a hidden message telling me not to worry. That I'll go back to having a six pack (that I never had) after Joonbug flies out into the world. Looks like the top can double as a bikini top too. See? Multi-functional. Sweet!

I hawk the BabySteals site updates like mad. All the cuteness that comes through gets me, almost every time. Though, yesterday they had some special on orgnanic baby food making kit. ehhh, I'm not *that* crunchy that I'm going to be making Joonbug's foods all the time. Though I don't doubt that I'll dabble in the fine culinary art of trying to please and infant's palate. So, I just got this email that there are these j'dorable baby ties! Done and DONE! If Joonie's a lil boy, he gets to be a dapper lil thing w/his orange polka dot tie.  If she's a girl, she gets to be freaking crazy adorable in a lil white button up shirt dress and an orange polka dot tie. Win/MF'ing Win! You know I purchased this bad boy before even a minute passed.  Check out the cuteness! Don't you want to bite the lil developing heart breaker already? I need to find fun lil baby chucks. They only had high top purple and pink ones at Babies R Us this past weekend. I mus...

I get this weird sensation like someone is tazing me in/on my upper right hand side of my belly, under me boob. Not sure if this is a circulation thing or what but it's very odd. Another pregnancy oddity? I almost was able to say that I made it a whole day w/out cookies today. Then my dealer came by my office and reminded me that I ordered a box of Samoas from him. He literally came by my office door and just held up 4 fingers ($4 a box), a nod and went back to his office. If that's not a real dealer, what is? We're at 30 weeks, folks! 10 mo' weeks of gestation and Joonbug joins us in this crazy world! Woot! I've had a spectacularly awesome pregnancy so far and even if it's all downhill from here, I'm super thankful that I haven't gone psychotic or licked someone's neck seeking a quick buzz off their perfume/cologne and I'm mostly at peace with the weight gain so far.  Don't get me wrong, I have my moments of "wait, HOW much do I wei...

Now that blogger has all these fun add ons that you can stick on your blog, I'm having a lil fun. I stuck a 'Joonbug's gender' poll on the right hand side there. It's not fancy enough to record who put in the votes but it's a fun lil tally to see how many votes each gender gets. So far, only Cowboy and I have voted. Can you tell which voted which? :) Thanks to a fellow Knocked Up Chicky who referred me to this hilarious 'Let's Panic!' site, I nearly peed myself laughing today. A more mildly funny page from the site is the below description of the 7th month in pregnancy. Seventh Month: Are we done yet? Not even close! What’s Going On Up In There? This month your baby is heading into the home stretch and finishing up her developmental touches. She will grow up to three feet in length from crown to rump, and of course will develop the thick layer of subdermal blubber she’ll need to insulate her those frigid winter mo...

Our good friends had their baby this morning! It's a girl! Her name is Rowdy. Well, Rowdy was her womb nickname and just like Joonbug's nickname, it'll likely stick w/us so that's what we're sticking too. Cowboy was texting w/the new baby daddy this morning when we woke up to check on the progress to see how things were coming along (because after almost 24 hours of labor, she was still at 5 cm dialed and everyone was getting antsy) and he responded with a text of "Pushing...". HA!!! If Cowboy is texting w/people while I'm, uh, 'pushing', I will choke him (just enough to get his attention, not enough to cause serious air blockage of course).  We laughed and waited and finally he got a picture of her perfect lil baby'ness at about 9 and we coo'ed and got all starry eyed over her. Adorable! So, now will Joonbug be a girl and be lil chicky besties w/Rowdy or will Joonbug be a boy, and well, be besties w/Rowdy? :) 2 more months and a few ...

....This week. :)  New week, new gender.  We've all been there... We went for another ultrasound on Friday and Joonbug's doing great! He's measuring in the 72nd percentile of fetal growth, which means he's definitely on the 'big baby' side for the moment. As much as that scares my vagina (my vagina quietly wept as the Dr confirmed, 'Yep, that's a chubster you've got there'), better that he be healthy and bigger than smaller and weaker, right? That's my guess, or rather, how I'm comforting my lady bits.  For as much as I get caught up in the vain thinking at times of  'Damn, I'm big!', I also never ever lose sight of how lucky I am and how amazing this whole process is. I'm obsessed with Joonbug's movements. Seriously. I sometimes sit at my desk at the office and stare down at my belly waiting for a kick or an arm to poke out and am completely tickled by it. I'm sure I look rather... special, when I'm caugh...