A day (or two or three) in the life of...

Mas and I are heading up to New York City (I keep hearing that Pace commercial cowboy saying New York City?? when I type that out) to shop, see Festen and get away from this area for a change of scenery. Do you see my pattern of wanting to get away from this area? What's that saying about running away from your problems? Wishing you a happy if not mischievous weekend... * Photo courtesy of Bug and Mish's wine and cheese party a few years back. Those ladies sure can throw a bash. More parties ladies?

Being the loyal suitor that HarmsMonkey is, she has once again requested my presence at her side as her date to her work gala at the Mandarin Hotel. You know what this means... Open Bar! ((fist pump)) Yessshhh! Well, being a gala event, we knew we were on a mission to get some gowns that will up our elegance factor and make us feel like the belles of the ball. Luckily we happened to have a great happy hour session for a couple hours that happened to be in a mall yesterday evening so what do we do once we're good and buzzed? ((nod)) Shop of course. We marched over to Macy's and terrorized their dress section and after having enough dresses laying over our arms to completely blind us, we headed to the dressing rooms. Long and short of it, we got our gowns and I have to say, we are going to win this thing. The dress I ended up deciding on is pretty damned close to this number here except for it's not quite as vibrant of a green (unfortunately). I even came home and put it on ...

The destination for next month's sabbatical has been decided upon and the tickets purchased. Blondie and I are heading to Punta Cana, Dominican Republic! After going through Orbitz, Hotwire, Travelocity and Expedia and seeing prices fluctuate dramatically from load to reload of searches, losing a battle with tourrette's, slamming my phone onto desk a few times and feeling like the vacation may end up in Ocean City, my sweet Jemmy Pie brought me a glass of champagne and gave me his famous knowing smile and calmed me down. Ahhh, everyone should have a lil bit of Jemmy in their life. I threw out Hedonism II as my leading suggestions since we were , afterall, looking for an all inclusive resort (we're destined to be stapled onto beach w/fruity drinks in hand and sun singeing our pale East Coast flesh) w/minimal little ones running around (stumbling around little ones and telling them dirty jokes w/booze on our breath is not what we're aiming for this time around) and as mu...

Thank you Harms, Bebs and Danny for loving your lil emotional Clussy. I love you back but a bit more even (I just want to win). Flowers got delivered to me here at office and damnit, you know how special that makes me feel when people walk by my office and comment on how I must be loved. I shrug and tell them I had it delivered to myself as an affirmation thing that does the trick whenever I have the mean reds. 'Cept I don't have the mean reds because I know what's troubling me and so, yeah, it's called the blues. Luckily I have all this yellow (please note Craig's yellow car he gave me many years ago when he learned of my distaste for yellow cars and especially their drivers. This car makes me giggle when needed. Thank you Craig!) to beam at me and counteract the blues so I turn... green? With envy? At Harms having raised thousands of dollars for March of Dimes? No, I met my goal so I'm beyond content. Thank you to everyone who pledged me. It's a cause that...

So, I feel compelled to apologize for my supreme aptitude for boring you lately. My brain feels like mush a lot lately and I feel like I can't find my 'voice'. If this continues, I'll have to get A.D.H.D. meds or just fulfill my destiny of becoming one of those bronze painted live statues w/a hat on ground in front of me for spare change. That's about as fun as I get lately, kinda. I will work on getting my hands on some speed to inject some personality back into me. Till then... Hi. Oh, here's some fun news, there are trips on the horizon!!!!!!!!!! (that's for you Harms). I will be going to (Meheco/Bahamas/Costa Rica... pick one) w/my dear homeys Mikey and Blondie #3 (Steph) to run away from this area and hopefully finally get into some bar fights, get tattoos (the skull and cross bones showered off :-( ), get jobs at a high end resort and... yeah, working on that plan but it's happening mid May. Sweet! Then next weekend I'm going to NY w/Mas for so...

Another random dream to add to the books. When someone asks me what my favorite physical attributes about myself are, I have to think for a bit (to make sure they haven't changed) and I say "my calves (took a lot of work to get them this way) and my eyes (thanks to my Grandmother)". So, last night, I'm in dreamland and floating from dream to dream when one that stands out played out like so: I'm on a beach, laying out but on my stomach (I didn't want white tuckus and tan quads?) when I notice it got a pinch cooler and my sun was being blocked. I turn my head up to see who the inconsiderate person is who's blocking my sun but the sun is blinding me from seeing his face, however I seem to remember the physique being 'money'. This faceless man leans down and starts gushing on about how hot my calves are. I contort my body to see what he's fawning over and sure enough, my calves were looking tan and well, they had it going on. Suddenly, he's ki...

I was a super star... I think objects may have been thrown at me but I'm not sure... Who was the stoopid stoopid girl who posed as Clussy at the wedding and loudly yelled out "The After Party's at my house!!!" Bottles were emptied, fridge was cleaned of leftovers and fed to the drunks, I got a tattoo, sang karaoke and pissed off the neighbors. Then at 5, it was time for nigh' nigh'. This was my Saturday... Fear Me... Good morning. Send coffee and reinforcements please... BTW, I did get around to finally cleaning the insanity yesterday morning. My floors are still a bit sticky though (yes it was that kinda party) so I need to finish up more cleaning.

Ok, let me explain... So I share my boss's joke with Grasshopper on Friday night. I tell him how we were at the restaurant and how we both ordered the special (Blackened Halibut and three pepper polenta) and my boss (he's good for corny jokes but it's truly endearing) busts out with "isn't that what's in delivery rooms?". My mind goes blank. Huh? I think of mail delivery rooms and I look at him w/blank look, tilt my head to the side and wag my tail in confusion. "You know, when women are giving birth". BLECH! Yes, he went there. So I slapped my knee, gave him his deserved 'dar har' and stated "well, I hope not because you know some people cook it up and serve it to the family after child birth in celebration of life". There was stunned silence at table. Noone believed me! Ok, long story short, I tell Grasshopper about all this and he kept his straight face and nodded. I said "That really is foul though". To instigate d...

Have you ever wondered where these porn stars get their sound effect and facial expression inspirations? I mean, obviously at our 'moments of truth', we're not quite focusing on how attractive our facial expressions are or if it's appropriate or not to scream an array of commands to our lovers (not that I do that of course, we all know I'm the conservative type.) but it's downright funny how those fine thespians show their climactic excitement, isn't it? no? And do they have mirrors on their ceilings to practice said expressions and perfect them for their scenes in their feature films? Just wondering... Not that I've even seen one of these smut films recently because, well, the library is currently stale. How sweet, David Bekham humps his teammate after victorious game, as man in background comes forth for his go at him. Makes me miss team sports. Ah the camaraderie. Time to go practice facial expressions in the mirror now.

Ok, so I've been neglecting this blog. Sorry about that. There's no excuse that will sit well with you or me so let's just leave it at that. On my run yesterday, I kept thinking of things I wanted to write about in here and even blog titles but did I follow through? Apparently not. I need a good bottle of pinot noir (or dirt and cherries as Jems puts it) and an hour alone at my 'puter w/out distractions and then I'll post everything... Acceptable? Ok, point of this post though is that I'm going to run in a March of Dimes walk (I'm an overachiever, you see?) on April 23rd and would like to raise some funds for a good cause. I know 2 sets of premature twins who have been able to beat the odds due to the help of the "Premie" unit and funding raised by the March of Dimes and I'd love to be able to help contribute more to this special cause. The first set of twins whom I'm running this for have come out beyond exceptional and are about to be old...