A day (or two or three) in the life of...

I'm dressed as an exhausted, sleep deprived, overly embalmed (weddings and open bars are evil?) 30 year old today. Need sleep now... Happy Halloween!!

This is why I will probably never encode my comments box. This comment was left on one of my older posts this morning and I gotta say, I loved every word of it : I love, will you marry me? If the answer is NO, then visit this site: Avalon Craftsman DVL Large Fireplace Idaho . If I can't have you, at least enjoy my favorite past time. I mean, come on, dude's hilarious. He/she loves me and want me to marry them. Because of Lu and I's postponed nuptials, I am considering this offer from Mr. Anon. I'm even looking into buying one of the jetted tubs that he's pimping off. Love Always, Clussy L. Anon~

So I'm feeling wonderfully positive today for the first time in, oh, about 2 weeks almost. Somehow, everything is falling back into place. Is it weird that I feel like I was being so very tested and now I have a sense that maybe I'm passing the test or on the verge of getting an A or at the very least a B+? I talked myself out of self pity, the brink of insanity and mental breakdowns so many times in the past week 1/2 and mostly put my fate in the hands of a higher power. I did some meditating, praying and just taking moments to really think about what's going on around me and in the lives of people around me and though I may have been pretty absent in my loved ones lives, I thought of them a lot. For me to say that I prayed is huge. No, seriously. I hadn't prayed, like really prayed and felt it in probably about 20 years. Barriers in me, spiritually, were knocked down and I felt optimism and hope starting to seep back into me. It felt good. It's never fun to feel ...

I miss that feeling of contentness where everything seems like it's either OK or going to be OK. Just a nice solid feeling of what direction I'm going in would be nice.

I think I need to play more with Photoshop...

I got this in an email forward (which I usually delete w/very few exceptions) but lately I've been reading through them. :-) TEN things to say when caught sleeping @ your desk! 10. "They told me at the Blood Bank this might happen." 9. "This is just a 15 minute power nap they raved about in the time management course you sent me to!" 8. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the Whiteout. You probably got here just in time." 7. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new business strategy." 6. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance." 5. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who practice Yoga?" 4. "Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out how to handle that big accounting problem." 3. "Did you ever notice sound coming out of these keyboards when you put your ear d...

So, I started this blog to vent about random things but I'm finding that now I have to censor myself because I can't very well complain about Lu to people that are his friends too, right? Or talk about random thoughts that I usually just spill to a journal because now I feel like it may bore my friends to tears on here but the truth of the matter is, I started this blog to just spill whatever may be overflowing in my head, you know? And now I don't do that anymore because I had so much fun with this blog and getting to know new people and reconnecting with ones that I had lost touch with but I also managed to lose the purpose for which I'd started this in the first place. That being said, I may bore you with my vents and you probably don't want to hear/read half of them but that's OK with me. I don't expect comments or feedback. Um, same difference really... I just want to get back to venting when I feel like it and being silly when I feel like it. I hav...

I have allergies. Bad allergies at that, to a majority of environmental allergies (oak trees, maple trees, dust, grass, pollen, mold, even cats and dogs), therefore if I don't take my allergy medicines (pills and nasal spray) everyday, I end up sneezing like it's nobody's business. Not only do I sneeze but my eyes and nose get irritated and runny, my throat gets itchy and eventually starts closing up, my body itches, I get sporadic hives which welt up and spread and my body feels achy and run down. It ain't pretty. I first discovered that I had developed allergies at the age of about 23 I believe. I had been sneezing, coughing and weezing for a few weeks and the doctor gave me medicines for colds or a flu but it didn't help my symptoms. Finally it occured to the Dr. that I had allergies so he prescribed me the nasal spray, inhaler and antihistamine pills. This worked. So, since then, I've been a slave to my medications in order to avoid the very uncomfortable re...

Kissing monkeys may not seem like such a cute idea after all... Whyyoushouldneverkissamonkey!_4.mpe Powered by Castpost

What "Happy Bunny" phrase are you? you suck and that's sad You are a very compassionate and sympathetic person. You use your divine sense of humor to cheer up a situation. Click Here to Take This Quiz Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests. Thank you Mikey for leading me to the happy bunny. I'm going to need all new tee shirts now, of course. Damn, this is what too much coffee did to me today. I'm going off on a million tangents and can't focus long enough on just one to complete anything productive today.

Thanks to my last spammer, I was led to a site that will surely make Lu's day! See, Lu talks about A.A.S. (Angry Asian-man Syndrome) and A.S.S. (Angry Spanish-man Syndrome) all the time and he feels that he's coined it. Apparently there was alreaady a site dedicated to the Angry Asian Man . Hmm... He will have to check them out. Thank you, random spammer. Thank you...

I swear I do this to myself all the time. I love coffee, love the taste, like the kick start it gives me but I always end up drinking too much and freaking out. I feel the trembles, thoughts flying around 100 mph, writing non-sensical emails which I have fun with and realize I may have said things I shouldn't have. Though I don't email anyone who would really take anything I say the wrong way if I'm being silly anyways so I guess that's not really an issue. So, since I've cleansed (last month w/that Master Cleanse), my body's so sensitive to caffeine. It sucks! I even had to order a decaf coffee *gasp* last weekend out of fear of what that 2nd cup of java would end up doing to my nerves, body, thoughts, etc... It's a drug, man! A drug! Like any other drug, if you keep on keeping on after the initial buzz, you may OD and get that 'icky' feeling. I know, I know, coffee is not to be lashed out against. It's to be loved, cherished, coveted and ador...

Damn, I'm starting to wonder if signing Lu up for boxing with me was such a good idea afterall... Last night was our 2nd boxing class and we did the usual warm ups: 15 laps around room jabbing and stepping jab, left hook, roll, right hook jab jab jab hook upper cut low, high, hooks (getting faster) practicing the stepping/dancing heh, not like dancing but you know, the boxers prancing around trying to ... right, I think you know Shadow boxing Well, then we're paired up and we have to spar (warned not to throw hard punches). First I was paired up with this little Asian girl who was cute and sweet as can be but pretty fierce. Helped me with technique a bit (which I'm in dire need of because Master Kim is not concentrating on form enough for my needs and I get confused. :-/) and we sparred for a good 5 minutes or so. Well, then it's time to switch partners and Master Kim decides it'd be a good idea to pair me up with Lu and yell out taunts from t...

Note: Updated pain drawing I've customized my pain drawing to reflect everywhere I feel the stabbing pain. Here's hoping the pain subsides after a couple more lessons...

Ahh, took almost 100 pics tonight while w/Frog's baby. *sigh* He's just so precious and I guess since this is so close to my biological clock forseeing some ticking in the future (don't get excited, the future means like, years), I am overwhelmed with baby hysteria. Loving it. Frog's as proud and doting as a Papa can be and seeing this side of him is beyond awesome. I love new Daddies. They make me tear up and appreciate such raw emotions. I mean, don't get me wrong, new Mommies of course are overjoyed and proud as well but since we're always (usually) so emotional and gushing anyways, well, it just makes it all the more rare and special to see a man in that state and to see the proud gaze of a new Father. I love it... Paz~

This has been quite a year. I grew apart from countless friends in the past 2 years for many reasons which all differ from the other and I'm working on reconciliations with the few that I have enough of a connection with that I feel the need to build the bridges back up (takes time and work, that's for sure). It takes humility in some instances too. Jenny Gayle just called me today. She found my # somewhere after not having talked in about a year and before that we hadn't talked in over a year again. I didn't reconnect with her because of so many reasons. There's pain and betrayal as well as just outright confusion thrown in the mix. We've changed so much since our highschool/post-highschool years of being sisters and partners in crime to the umph degree. I miss her and want to hug her and cry and tell her everything that I've wanted to tell her in the past few years... but I can't. I can't say "Jenny, you've changed so much that I don't...

I got this in email and though normally I just delete forwards (unless they're short enough to skim through and get a chuckle out of them or something) but this one just made sense. It describes me eerily well. A.A.A.D.D.. .it's coming, just wait I'm sure some of you can relate, and those that can't, well this might explain why we are the way we are. Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests: I decide to wash my car. As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the hall table I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the trash can under the table, and notice that the trash can is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the trash first. But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the trash anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my ch...

All of the above muscles are aching right now. Especially my rhomboideus, deltoid and gluteal muscles. ouch. All sore. I'm afraid tomorrow may be worse but tomorrow's my next class so I guess I gotta get over it. :-) Wow, this is no joke. Not that I thought it could be a joke or easy for that matter but ... well, ouch. 8.5 week till wedding time. I think I'll have Lu take my measurements tonight to see what I can achieve in terms of inches off the body. Weight's at the steady 133 and the goal is 120-125. I can do this (take 27!)

Typing w/shakey hands here. Just boxed for over an hour for the first time... ever. Master Kim whooped my arse! I'll be going Tues/Thurs/Sat to begin with and then hopefully add in another day or two once I get conditioned enough. Lu and I have joined a studio for boxing classes together so it's nice to be able to have someone else to push me to go to classes. Unfortunately, they wouldn't let us do jabbing drills together so I was paired up w/a teen girl in the class who turned out to be Bolivian so we were bonding. She told me she thought I was like 21. Aww yeah, she's my new best boxing buddy. ;-) Then I get to hear Master Kim kissing Lu's ass all night cuz of the Asian man bond going on. He kept telling me how lucky I was and how in shape my man was. Um, ok. Ok, so I'm exhausted now and afraid I'll be paralyzed from scalp to toe nails tomorrow so I'm going to go watch the last two episodes of lost now and then sink into a coma. If I'm not onli...

I literally almost broke down in tears of rage this afternoon as a client would not let me off the phone. I felt like someone was holding me down and tweezing out my nose hairs and eating away at my insides. Yes, it was that bad. My foot started tapping and by the time my boss came by my office and she (client) still had me on the phone, I was stomping my feet on the floor in rage. Rage. Yes, issues. I embrace them. The thing is, when someone keeps me on the phone, I start breathing fast and feel panic setting in. I keep trying to find an 'out' to get off the phone. I don't care who it is, I don't particularly like talking on the phone. My Mom gets pissed at me because I get impatient and cut conversations with her short as well. Phone Phobia is a real condition though. So that begs to ask, should I seek help? Eh, I just don't want to talk on the phone. I must be able to get through life w/out having to get stuck on the phone. I want to say Hi, ask you what I need...

4 8 15 16 23 42 I mean, people are noticing such obscure details in the show concerning number references and though I see that it's all tied together, WHAT DO THEY MEAN? I'm up to disc 6 and have 2 episodes left until the end of season one and can finally move up to season 2 and be all caught up. *patting my back* The writers of this show are brilliant, simply said. I love seeing the cross references all over the place and seeing how every storyline seems to be so carefully planned out and leads the viewer to come to so many conclusions. Thank you Jems and Bekks. Enablers are a beautiful thing. Now I'm just not looking forward to having to wait a whole week to see the next episode. I mean, I just did a crash course in LOST and was able to watch episode after episode non-stop almost. And even worse, what if this show ends suddenly? I realize it's popularity will most probably ensure it stays on the air for a while but how long can they string this out? Will they set u...

Ever have one of those days where you just don't think it can get any better? They're particulary fulfilling when it happens to follow a long period of time where you're just not sure about anything in your life. Well, at least for me. I'm so topsy turvy and inconsistent with my moods (sucks but it's true) so I go through horrible lows of questioning every aspect of my life and the people around me to days where I come to the conclusion that I'm about to die because why else would I feel so ecstatic and amazed by everything/one in my life, you know? Weird. I can't say that I'd necessarily want to change this about myself, though I'm sure it'd save me a lot of heartache and doubt. I just think I wouldn't appreciate all that's amazing around me if I didn't feel so much angst about what sucks around me. I'm rambling, yes but it's therapeutic for me so I'll ramble on... It's every so often that I look at my relationship ...

Watched first four episodes of Lost thanks to Bekks last night! Finally, I get to see the mystery show which was to knock my socks off... LOVE IT! The background of the characters, the suspensful moments (I screamed at top of my lungs twice or so during the 4 episodes) and the emotional twists (tears welled up 3 times last night)... There's just lots going on and I'm loving it. I guessed that the hobbit was a junkie even before the scene that showed him flipping out on the plane w/his stash so I must be brilliant, right? right? The conspiracy theories are endless. You don't even want to know all my speculation of the characters right now cuz it's nuts. Wow and Matthew Fox, uh, hello! He's H.. H... HO.. HOT! His character is just so loveable, courageous, charming, considerate... All the things you want in a hubby even! I think there'll end up being an island wedding on this show and I bet they won't have immigration issues. Hmph! Anyways, enough rambling ab...

Why? Why? Why? Aren't women supposed to be more delicate, demure and oh, sanitary? Then why are the women's bathrooms here always evidence that 80% or so of the women that work in this building have sprained hands that won't allow them to flush. Gross! I will mosey on into a stall only to be violently thrown back against the nearest wall from the severity of my gasp. BAH!!!!! I don't need to see that ! That is personal and disgusting, unless I'm changing my own child's dirty diaper, I don't need to see that ! So as a consideration or more of a worry that the next woman seeing me walk out of the ladies room will think I did that and left it for all to see, I reach my foot over and while I'm looking away, I flush w/my shoe and then run away to the furthest stall possible (considering there's only 3 stalls, it's just the 2nd stall over that I can run to. I'm already in a 'meh' mood today and to see that and know that someone basicall...

So, in short, no more Cozumel wedding. Our message in a bottle said "no Vietmanese consulate permission" and basically that the plans are off. So, I have a dress, the groom and the vision of a beach but no more site (still trying to see where else this can happen), 10 guests thinking they're going to Cozumel with us and anxiety attacks but no wedding plan. I can't eat enough sugar today to calm my anxieties... Though we know the sugar won't make me feel better. Though, liquor could. Well, at least for as long as my buzz lasts. *sigh* Now the possibilities are: Virgin Islands Hawaii (but everything there is so 'spensive even if we did get cheap packages) The Keys (does anyone know what the weather's like there in December?) Antigua Puerto Rico ???? I'll get as far as pricing it out and then get to a freaking out point and stop. Or, we could just not get married (now I'm just being stubborn, huh?), I could hang out in my wedding dress on our 'da...

What a fun weekend all in all. Busted, LOVED seeing you this weekend! I am faxing over revised adoption papers to confirm that we really are family. ;-) Jello shots were consumed in mass quantities... by me. Sangria was refreshing... Felt it seeping out of my poors till Sunday night. Mmm... IHOP sopped up some remnants of the alcohol leftover from Sat night the next morning. Love thier French Toast specials. I apologize to all about no Oktoberfest, it really was kinda lame though. :-/ Preferred hanging out with my peeps at the crib anyways. Harms, the cake was great! Good idea on having a toy party and as usual, there were many giggles to be had. Ok, I'm short on words and would just rather concentrate on fully unwinding now that the weekend and a big work project are over. Craig, hope you're now getting to relax over there in the Midwest too now that the FAA doozy has come to a stopping point (temporarily :-)). You're my hero. Thank you for not using too many exple...