A day (or two or three) in the life of...

Look, it was a Toga partayyy. It was my first and only. Actually, it was kinda fun. :-) Loved each and every moment of my bachelor-ette days. Love my days now but that was also quite fun.

We're looking for the red head in this pic. He's down south, possibly captured by the buttah pecan rican guerillas. Mission starting at 07:00 8-2-2005. Search and retrieve our posse mate. May the force be with you. Aww, look how smiley McSmilerson ClaudiO is looking in this pic. [giggle] Love my homies. Damn it Jim, it's been too long.

Ok, Harms, I think I'm recruiting you to go down to Puerto Rico and find Mikey. I'll send you off with a picture in hand because I know it's been a couple years since you've seen our male blondie (because you're our female,um, you're blonde and um, right, you get the gist) and you never know how your memory may have been affected. It's been a few good weeks since I've heard from him and though I went a good couple weeks w/out replying to his email last time, he's gone a good few weeks now since I've heard from him and I think the Buttah Pecans ate him. If you may happen to fail this mission then I'll have to halt life as I know it and venture down there myself. I just think you'd be a good dose of sunshine to shoot him up with. I've pointed you in the direction of not as cheerful (as you on a reg basis) peeps before and you've been successful so I'm thinking your kung fu may just be strong enough to fulfill this mission. ...

Claudia's Aliases Your movie star name: Fruit N' Nut Mix Fausto Your fashion designer name is Claudia Prague Your socialite name is Clussy Cozumel Your fly girl / guy name is C Tor Your detective name is Monkey Hayfield Your barfly name is Curried Shrimp Appletini Your soap opera name is Staghorn Court Your rock star name is Candy Hearts Bunny Your star wars name is Clalex Torgae Your punk rock band name is The Giddy Paper Clip The Amazing Meganame Generator Ok, my movie star name sucks! I love my punk rock band name. My socialite name is great! My barfly name is stoopid. Um, my soap opera name... not cute. No, I wouldn't want to have a salacious, scandalous affair with someone named Staghorn Court. M'kins name generator had more giggle inducing results. The nickname's gonna take a while I think. S'gotta be from a really telling moment somewhow. [shrug]

the orange one is Lexi (the one I thought I had successfully 'offed' but she got up and walked away after I drew the chalk outline around her) which is Lu's wanna-be tiger and the white, fluffy princess is my gay cat Quincy. Sorry Odda, I had only introduced them before as my little brain suckers. They have names. :-)

I just lost my post by accidentally clicking on a browser nav button. It was a semi-long post. It was talking about good vibes and emotions. Now I'm pissed. That sucked. Post is gone now. [sigh] G'night.

I thought I was required to go do the subdued, demure, good-fiance duty tonight with Lu's fam. I thought wrong. Hurray for misunderstandings. I got home tonight and Lu advised me to just chill and stay in because I sounded kinda tired anyways. yay to the smoke filled, loud bar that put a strain on my voice to enable it to sound tired. :-) Cheers! I was on my way home tonight and stopped at 7-11 for some creamer for tomorrow's coffee (not the biggest fan of black coffee lately) and had a verbal exchange with a dude outside the store when I was getting back into my car. I can only pretend for so long that I don't understand what's being said in a creepy voice. Tonight, I could not pretend. I turned around and shared a disapproving look and heard some more letcherous words slither out of these 4 guys mouths (they were hanging out in front of their van in the 7-11 parking lot) geared towards me. So I turned around, walked towards them and they pretended to not know why I wa...

I made a Quiz and want to see if you know me, even just a little bit . Take my Quiz or make your own, either way, it's a fun way to waste 37 seconds ... It comes with a Scoreboard for kicks

My first day back at the office and I'm over here trying to get readjusted to a real (ok, Jems, so it's not a real real work day but it's the reality that I know, ok?) work day as opposed to working at home as I've been acustomed to for the past 3 1/2 weeks or so. I've been tickled, teased and chatted up since I've gotten in here this morning. Again, I work with all guys who apparently have not had little sisters so I'm the office 'little sister' and so I get a full dose of that sort of behavior. It actually makes for a fun dynamic here at work. It's better than sexual harrasment at least, right? Ok, point is, no more uber blogging for me. [sigh] Time to master my new machine. woo hoo!

Nephew Noah, meet the bloggers. Bloggers, meet my nephew Noah. He's gonna just hang out in Meddy's tummy for another month and a half or so until he's ready to come out and join us. He looked right at me yesterday afternoon as I was in the sonogram room and I swear it looked like he was putting a finger to his mouth as if to say "Come on Tia Clussy, I was totally napping and then you started sniffling and gushing and you woke me. I'm sure I'll love you, or learn to love you in a few months but till then, can we keep the sniffling around me to a minimum please? I love you?". I winked at him and conceded to be mild mannered for the rest of the sonogram session. It's funny, because the sonogram technician (Karen) looked at us when she came into the room and said "whoa, what's going on here?" because it was Lu, Frog (my brother, he does have a normal name but I don't acknowledge it in public), Meddy (baby mama, who's Ethiopian) and me...

You know, I just got a shipment with 2 dresses I ordered out of a catalog (gotta love the end of summer clearances that start in mid-summer) and as I was trying one of them on, I was thinking that I wish I had smaller breasts sometimes so that I can more easily wear some of the summer dress styles and not feel like I'm sharing a bit too much of my 'bidness' w/the public. Then I saw this picture. I've almost solidly changed my mind. I'm ok as is for the moment.

Hmm... glad to see this job is so accomodating.

so mean.

Wait, what?

Wow. No description necessary here.

I am love it. Him are funny. Maked me laughter.

This bling on her finger is absolutely out of control. Good lord, this woman has more money, jewelry, clothes and video cameras than she knows what to do with. It's sick. Not hot but sick. I'm sure she loves her life though, scandal, non-undies wearing pics and all... I'll take my normalcy and white collar income bracket and be happy (whilst sipping on a choice bev of course).

One of my guilty pleasures is Infomercials. I love them. I just watch them and enjoy a lot of the over-acting that goes on in them and I'm pleasantly amused by the "but wait, there's more..." bit they always do. So much so that I always am just about 1 or 2 'but wait there's more's' away from buying whatever it is they're selling. I have the Ronco rotisserie oven that I bought back in 1998. I can actually make that 'pollo rico' in my home! that's right folks, in my home. Granted, I only do that about 2 or so times a year and it takes a good 2 hours or so (including prep and cook time) but it's amazing! It's just so big though and has to be stored in it's own cabinet to be kept out of the way. I also have the ' Food Saver Vac '. Now Lu bought that one because we shop at Costco as if we were feeding a small village in Vietnam. Yes, he's also a sucker for the infomercials though he makes fun of ME for being a suck...

I love me some 'Boss's Aussie wifey'... " Hello my dearest darling Claw, Where the f--- are you babes. Code Red is missing her office gender bender buddy. You get on the phone to Dell right now and telling them if you don't get your computer tomorrow, you want your money back, ok? I miss ya dahls. As much as the boys at the office are nice and all - it just ain't the same without The Claw!!!!! Randy set me up an email address with the company so I could send emails from the office without going through webmail. Lo and behold, there were THREE unopened emails from YOU in the inbox - can you believe it? I bet you don't remember sending them, do you????? No, I figured as much. Why? Because they dated back to the end of 2004, that's why! Remember when we were into red sox, and red shoes and handbags, and red lippy (aussie for lipstick)?????? They were fun emails to read Claw even if they are 7 months old. Aaaaahhh…. Remember the good ol' da...

I went to Lu's Grandmother's viewing and funeral service today (from 1 till 8, ouch) and met lots of the family (just to point out again, he's Vietnamese) I hadn't met before. Well, when most of his fam heard throughout the years that Lu was engaged to a 'Spanish girl', they all assumed I was MeHEcan. I know a few MeHEcans and they're pretty damned cool but I personally am not MeHEcan. I am Bolivian (Mom's side) and Colombian (Dad's side). Yes I speaka da Espanol and I love my heritage (though I really should get to know more about my Colombian roots when I grow some balls for a visit to Bogota) but that in itself does not make every Spanish/Hispanic person you meet be MeHEcan. Ay vey! Right, so anyways, upon seeing me at the funeral home with the family some people thought I was a distant Vietnamese/French mixed relative (don't ask me, I don't know why, they made ass out of u and me?) and were wondering where Lu's fiance was. [waving a...

So in one of the many ADHD scenes in my dream last night, I was angry at these 2 ladies who were trying to rip me off and they were being so rude to me. Well, I thought of nothing more appropriate to do than to cuss them out in Spanish so I was ranting on and on: "Imbecil de mierda!! Como se te ocurre ser tan bestia! Hija de... Ve te a la mierda y llevate a tu amiguita tambien!" I never cuss anyone out in Spanish so that was quite out of character. Maybe it's coming out of me now. Watch out if I say any of the above to you. Though I know I won't because it's not really my style. Plus, I don't cuss out the ones I even hate, let alone the ones I love. Cariñosamente, Clussy~

You Are 20 Years Old 20 Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax. What Age Do You Act?

Your Kissing Purity Score: 11% Pure For you, it's all kiss and no talk. You're in a permanent lip lock. Kissing Purity Test This must be why people think I'm quiet sometimes?

Your Hawaiian Name is: Kiele Haimi What's your Hawaiian Name? I will go by Kiele-cita. What's a girl gotta shake to get a Pina Colada around here?

Jems is still going strong and will need to have his face added to this QuitNet image. Good for you Jems. I'm so proud. It'll be much more pleasureable to make out with you now. Thank you for taking that into consideration.

I think this person is going hungry. Someone please hire her to be your personal JLo impersonator at your next party. :-/ Thanks to Jems, I went on this 'Lookalikes' site and he's right. A lot of them really don't look like the people they're supposed to resemble. And Jems, I think you will be a Beyonce look alike and I will hire you for my bachelorette party. Get application and send them a pic. Better yet, I'll do it for you.

Just cuz she does the over-smoked up eyes, doesn't qualify this young lady to pass for Angelina Jolie. I wonder if someone's hired her.

Ladies and Gents, all we have to do is put on our Catholic School girl outfit and pig tails and we too can have a career as a Britney impersonator. Nice.

But this is the winner for classic beauty in my opinion.

I think this woman is stunning and classy. Very attractive in my opinion.

Jemmy's dream girl, if his dreams were of girls. Wait, that's supposed to be me... though looking at JG here, I forgive you.

Back in late 2001, I went out with a few friends to a Bethesda bar. It was Bug's idea because she was a big fan of Bethesda crowds. Heck, I was single, so why not, right? We get to the 2nd bar of the night (damn, I can't remember the name of it) and after a while, meet a group of men. I end up chatting with one of them whom I think is just sexy as he can be. His name escapes me at the moment but he was damn fine and telling me all the right things at the time so I give the guy my phone # and go home thinking of how attractive he was. He calls me the next day and we make a date for a few days later. He seemed intelligent enough on the other end of the line and he convinces me that he's 'dating material' so, why not, right? Right? We meet up at my favorite resteraunt (Tara Thai in Vienna) and the first bad sign is that he orders a shot of vodka and 2 glasses of wine to begin with. Now you know that I appreciate me some good spirited beverages so it's not h...

Amazingly enough, MIL is loving her some Clussy. She even said today (actual quote) that I'm "Cay Tuhn" (SP? easy to love or loveable) to her step-sister as I hugged the family goodbye after lunch. She spoke of my uber mannerisms that impress her and said I was 'raised well'. Heh, who knew? So she's not really trying to 'off' me? Who knew? I just assumed that she did not appreciate the presence of the "MeHEcan" girl in her 'son's' life. I say 'son' in quotes because there's a long story to that fact. Lu-cifer's actually her nephew and not her son but she raised him as her own. For that, I owe her much gratitude. When all's said and done, she did a magnificant job in raising this man and I am forever indebted to her for that because I reap the benefits of her hard work on a daily basis. That's what's up. The rest of the family has always had easy relations with me so maybe she just realized that and thr...

Sadly, Lu's Grandmother passed away this morning. She's actually his step-Grandmother but the only one he's known. He was not that close with her and only went to visit her (in Alexandria) when his Mom came into town from Cali or if he had to drop something off for her, basically about twice or 3 times a year. We went to see her about 2 weeks ago because we knew she wasn't doing well and sat with her for a little bit. I've actually always liked her because, though very old and fragile and not speaking any English, she'd manage to always compliment me through her daughters. She'd look at me sweetly and smile and even told me I look thin and to make sure I keep eating. Heh, I liked that comment. She was a sweet and serene type of lady and I hope she's resting in peace now. Here's some worse news. MIL is flying in tonight. :-/ Yep, her and her brother actually, though I like her brother. He's also been super complimentary and kind towards m...

Oops, forgot to post this pic. You're right Harms, you were there. You just hopped right on into this pic you ham...

How cute would this pic be if our eyes weren't glowing in red demon manner?

Awww, Jesse's getting some more love here. She was quite popular last night. I need to get some red eye reducing done to these pics...

Here's us w/the waitress (Jesse). I think Rick's admiring her, er, hidden talents.

[sigh] I am a proud, proud Clussy. Lu got drunky drunky last night. He does remember Martin being a 'chill dude' though so he wasn't that trashed. heh. Can you see that drool was starting to roll down his chin too?

See, and here I thought I had the biggest feet. Silly me. 6'6 has the biggest feet. :-D You could be a competition roach stomper. Wasting such gifts...

Sean and I were digging for gold...

Sipping on some battery acid. Say it with me kids "Yummmy". [drool rolling down chin]

Martin, you looking kinda evil here whilst making us down our mind erasers. Luckily we know you're an angel, right? Right? Guys?

Martin's roomie really likes him. Luckily Martin seems to be pretty secure with his sexuality and this does not seem to intimidate him.

Head is pounding. Mouth feels as though I was doing shots of battery acid last night. Wait, did I ? Is that what's in the mind erasers? Martin made a funny and gave me shots of battery acid? You have some 'splaining to do Mister... but first I must take some aspirin so I can rant on painlessly today. ouch. t'irsty. Will just go down to garden hose and rotate lefty lucy till I'm rehydrated. Yeah. Good Morning. Coffee...

Ok, so I went and bought a new scale today. One that records your weight and body fat and stores 2 profiles. I set one up for Lu (based on sex/height/age) and one for me. Lu went first and is 162 lbs and 17% body fat. I went next and am now 134.8 lbs and 29% body fat. Holy shmoly! 29% I am downright rubenesque! Well, the healthy range for men is 9-21% and for women is 21-33% anything lower is "underfat" and a certain percent over is "Overfat" and then anything over the "overfat" range is "obese". So, I'm in healthy range but I want to be on lower healthy range. Lu was saying "yeah but women need more fat content to be able to be good baby makers". Heh. yeah yeah yeah but I want to be strong and stuff and just a bit less, oh, cuddley? Now then, that's my starting body fat % and I hope to reach about 23-24%. I wonder how hard that would be...

I was driving back home today after going to Bed, Bath and Beyond (love that store and I always do lots of damage in there) and Best Buy (Lu-cifer needed an MP3 player, fun!) and decided I wanted to map out how long my run was last night because I really just kept running here and there w/no particular knowledge of how far I was going. Well, Lu apparently was watering the lawn and I wasn't paying attention to our house because I was focused on driving my running route and looking at the odometer to see how the distance progressed. I passed my house like 2 times and Lu waved to me as I drove by but I didn't see him so I dind't wave. All he saw was me 'aimlessly' driving around and keeping on passing our house and he was very confused as to my pointless driving. He thought I'd finally just lost it completely and was driving around like a zombie. Heh, that must have been a weird site for him. I ran 3.6 miles last night. Right on. Not bad for just getting back ...

Your Daddy Is Bill o'Reilly What You Call Him: Old Man Why You Love Him: He gives good spankings Who's Your Daddy? And that's coming from the 'No Spin Zone' for real for real. [gag]

In a Past Life... You Were: A Jittery Belly Dancer. Where You Lived: Boliva. How You Died: Killed in Battle. Who Were You In a Past Life? Ok, this was the wildest thing. It jolted me. I entered "Project Administrator" ( I don't know what the hell my job really is) and it told me I was Bolivian. Excuse my language but how fucking random is that??? How random? Tell me please cuz it jolted me. Yes, yes, these things are random and silly and for fun but can't you see how I'd take this just a pinch seriously? No? Anyone? guys? So, when I did it again w/'Consultant' as my profession (it actually doesn't matter what you put in there so next I'll put in a more adventurous profession for kicks) and got the following: In a Past Life... You Were: An Obese Viking. Where You Lived: Boliva. How You Died: The Plague. Who Were You In a Past Life? When I entered 'prostitute' as my profession (oh, I was just jesting w/this silly little past life generator) I...

I have a semi-addiction. It's not alcohol, cigarrettes, gambling, drugs or anything physically involved or highly detrimental. You guys know what it is if you know me well enough. It's sad but true. Lu knows of it and humors me in the mention of it. This is the special 'library' that he says we will have included in a future home one day. I really hope so. I'm embarrassed by it sometimes and sometimes not so much because, well, it's the nature of the beast, right? [shrug]. Anywho, I'm trying to get my hacker friend to hook a sista up but he's playing all difficult. Fucker! I know, I know, I have issues but geeze, it could be worse, right? I'm over here rambling off defensive excuses to myself for having the issues I have. When did I develop these issues? Early on. Like, early early on. Sad but true. How does one become like this I wonder. I'm at a loss for words. I'll leave it at that. If this blog were more anonymous, I'd e...

"Oh Claw, There's no-one in the office besides Rob and I. Everyone has deserted the ship: Randy feigning back problems, you feigning computer problems, Pat feigning going home and checking in with his wife because he's been away for a few days... I've moved back into Rob's office as it's too quiet. That way I can eve's drop on his phone conversations which makes the day more interesting. Looks like the company is gonna take off quite soon, but we won't crack open the champas until we have a signed government contract in hand! How is my office gender bender buddy going today? Missing you... Code Red " My poor office gender buddy is lonely in the office. She's not cut out for boredome. I'm usually there to entertain her and get the giggling and sillyness going. I told her I'd go in on Friday just for her... Not at the request of my bosses (which incidentally have actually requested my presence but I keep refusing) but for my Code Red A...

I must send all the positive vibes, support and love over to Jems. He quit smoking yesterday. Yep, quit altogether. I believe it's been about 18 hours and 15 minutes to be exact since his last ciggy. How you doing Jems? You can do this! You may even put on some weight but as long as you work out while you do, you'll be fine. Baby J would like it if you put on some muscle, eh? I will take you to claim your prize after a month of no tobaccy and that will be a great milestone in general for you because to be one month w/out puffing for you is strong in itself. Harms, you can do it too. ;-) ;-) ;-)

Jem's going to kill me for this... I know. Sorry Jems but I had to. Look at you go! Is it any wonder why I lust after you to just give me the good already??? You're just waiting for the right girl. [wink][wink]. Bet ya've never been w/a fiery Latina... Me neither...

THIS is a funny picture. I was looking for a fatty pic of me cuz in 02 I was a chunky monkey, like so chunky that I didn't bring my bathing suit to this cabin trip (remember Jems?) cuz I felt too fat to show my body (I have issues which I blame on modern day media and my Father). Point is, I found this pic and when I look at it, I know what both Lu and I were thinking. This is Jemmy's best friend Amy and she's got a smoking bod and I think at this moment when the pic was taken, we were both taken aback by how nice her rack (sorry, er, breasts) was but didn't know our reactions were being documented. Later on I asked Lu "what were you gawking at???". Derr... do I really have to ask? And is it fair to ask when my expression is the same if not more excited? HAAAA!!!!

And this is when (due to much coaxing) I agreed to give Amanda (Jem's other good friend) her first girly kiss after we'd both drank everything in the cabin and her complaining that she'd never kissed a girl before. Lu took the picture. I'm starting to realize that Lu's my pimp. Girls can kiss girls at the drop off a dime just for the sake of novelty and because it means nothing (maybe I'm speaking for myself here) to us. Gimme a break, it's only lusty if you think it is. Ladies, am I right here? Ladies? Anyone? It looks like a steamy scene though, doesn't it? I had to post this one since I posted Jemmy's kiss w/Amanda. Wow, we managed to just take full advantage of Amanda at the cabin, didn't we? Like a bad Spice channel movie. [snickering] My only action 'for real for real' is preferred w/a man and with my Lu for that matter. I just thought I'd clarify since I am posting this latent bi-sexual reference. heh. Notice the spectators. HA...

So I was doing good yesterday and today and now Lu just came home from a bad softball game mumbling about the other team being a bunch of pu$$ies and all bummed out because it was a tie game instead of a win because the other team didn't feel like playing anymore... When I asked him if he wanted to just call it a night (instead of driving over to the gym) and just renting a movie, he said he felt like having pizza and some beers and watching a movie. Damn. Pizza.... Mmm... I obligingly ordered the large pepperoni and jalapeno pizza and an order of the chicken kickers. [in Homer Simpson voice] mmm, chicken kickers gooood. So, no gym, no grilled chicken and salad. I gotta take one for the team tonight. I'm doing it in the name of solidarity and love. And giving in to the dark side. Mmm... Pizza. Looks like my workout tomorrow's going to have to be awfully fierce to make up for tonight's sinning. Thursday's happy hour as well and I'm sure I won't be having die...

Holy Mother of Casper the Friendly Ghost! This is just scarey of me! Winter is not kind to the Clusster but the twins looks GREAT! Look how hard Tricia is loving me, even as I'm hungover as all hell in this pic and look like a corpse who died in the middle of a roller coaster ride. Heh. Good times...

Wow, now I'm going through old pics here on my computer. There was lots of drinking going on this night... .Buggy, your bartending skills were very much appreciated. That was fun. :-D

I ask Tricia to make a funny face and this is what she does... I'll have to work on her next week when she spends the night. Though... look at my face. Come on Clussy, show some creativity for cripey's sake!

Me and Frog (brother). He was tired. I was smiley and silly. Not a good angle of me. [shrug]

this pic just cracks me up. Lu did a 'kodak moment' at last years Xmas dinner. Look how intensely he's looking at camera and I was trying to carry conversation w/my aunt. Heh. I look goofy. He looks kinda hot. rawr!

Look how smug the brain sucker is. Smug brain sucker....

So my boss (well, I have two of them technically cuz they're co-owners of company) has this wife from Australia who's just one of the most amazing and fun women I've come across in my life. Well, she's a red head so her nickname is ' Code Red ' and she's sassy as all hell. When she comes into the office she is my savior of boredom. I tell Rob (boss) all the time that I don't know how he got so lucky but he better be thanking his lucky stars. Anywho, her and I email back and forth all the time to check in on eachother and today we were emailing me after she asked when her 'office gender buddy' would be back in. I told her that I ordered my new laptop but it won't come in for another 12-15 days. Here's her response: "12-15 days for shipment? What the heck are these guys doing???????????????? Yes… get Randy to set up your computer here at the office. The office is quiet, quiet, QUIET!!!! I'm sitting at Bill's desk in Pat...

And this is my little night table of zen. Ahhh, I will go there now to light my oil burner and get me to turn into sleepy dwarf. G'night!

Love this pic! If only Baby J's eyes weren't devilishly glowing though... You look just dreamy Jemmy. Did Baby J darken the hair yet?

Looky, looky! It's Jemmy Pie and Baby J, our Francois dinner partners! I know you're going to complain about this one Jems. I happen to love it though. It's a keeper.